My child’s other parent is not following the child custody order. What can I do?

           If you or your child are in immediate danger, call 911.

When a parent doesn't follow the rules, they are violating the custody order. Every custody agreement is unique, but common violations include:

• Denying visitation: If the other parent won't allow the court-ordered visitation time with the child
• Failing to return the child: If the other parent doesn't return the child at the end of  visitation time
• Interfering with communication: This could be the other parent blocking communication with the child or not letting the child talk during your visitation time
• Changing the custody schedule: The other parent changes the custody schedule without your permission
• Moving the child: If one parent moves the child to a new location without your permission
• Not following the transportation rules, drop-off and pick-up times, and other terms

If the other parent does not visit, this is not a violation of the child custody order. The court cannot force a parent to visit. But the court can limit the parent’s visitation time until they are visiting consistently.

If the other parent is not paying child support, you can file a child support violation petition. A child support violation is different than a child custody violation.

If your child's other parent is not following the custody order, you can:

1. Contact the police for help
2. Document (keep a record of) the violations
3. File a violation petition in Family Court

Contacting the police

If the other parent is not returning your child in violation of the custody order, you can call the police. Report the violation and ask the police to help get your child back.

The police may ask you for proof of custody, such as a court order or custody agreement, before they help. They may also require evidence of a "clear and present danger" to the child, such as neglect or abuse.

As follow-up, you can file an enforcement petition with the family court. This petition asks the court to order the other parent to follow the rules. It may also ask for sanctions (punishment) or penalties if they don't cooperate.

Documenting the Violations

Keep a careful record every time the other parent violates the custody order, including:

• Dates, times, and the details of what happened
• How it affected you and your child
• Text messages, emails, voicemails, or witness statements, and any other evidence to support your claim

Documentation is helpful to prove the violations, if you go to court to enforce the custody order.

Filing a violation petition in Family Court

If the other parent keeps violating the custody order, you can file a petition for modification (change) of the custody order. This petition asks the court to change the custody order for the child's best interests.

For example, if the other parent often fails to show up for visitation, you may ask the court to change the visitation schedule to fit the other parent's availability. 

The New York State Court System's DIY (Do-It-Yourself) Custody Enforcement Program can help you write the petition to the court. The program guides you through the forms and steps  for asking the court to enforce the custody order. The DIY Custody Enforcement Program is helpful but it is not legal advice. If you need legal advice, look for a lawyer. 

To use the DIY Custody Enforcement Program:

1. Go to the DIY Custody Enforcement Program court website page.
2. Review the program instructions carefully to understand: 
   • who can file a custody enforcement petition, 
   • the steps in the process, and 
   • the forms to complete.
3. Follow the court's link to "LawHelp Interactive."  This is the website with the interactive, guided interview that helps you create your request to the court. 
4. Answer the interview questions: Your answers fill out the custody enforcement petition and any other required forms. Check for mistakes before (and after) you print the forms.. 
5. File the forms with the court: Bring the completed, printed forms to file at the Family Court where your custody order was issued or in the county you live. 
6. Serve the other parent: After you file the forms with the court, serve (deliver) the other parent your petition and the summons to appear in court. The rules about how you notify the other parent are strict. Follow the instructions (on the summons document) to serve the forms correctly. 
7. Attend the court hearing: The court will schedule a hearing. Go to the hearing with your documents to support your case (if you have any). 
8. Follow up with the court: After the court hearing, the judge decides your custody enforcement petition. You can follow up with the court to make sure that the order is enforced and the other parent follows the rules of the custody agreement.

Getting Emergency Relief

If you or your child are in immediate danger, call 911.

In some cases, the other parent may pose a serious threat to the child's health or safety. If you believe that the child is in danger, seek emergency relief from the family court.

Emergency relief may include: 

• An order of protection, which restricts the other parent's contact with the child, or 
• An emergency custody order, which gives you temporary custody until the problem is fixed.