As a parent, you want to raise your child in the best way possible. Laws on disciplining kids can be confusing. This is especially true if your cultural or family traditions differ from U.S. laws.
Parents can get in trouble when they don't know the U.S. laws that protect children.
In New York, it is illegal for parents or caregivers to use too much physical force to discipline a child. Actions that risk or cause physical injury may be child abuse.
If you hurt your child (or someone thinks you hurt your child), you may be reported to the police for child abuse. A child abuse report starts a long process that can take weeks, months, or even years. You may have to go to court. The government can take your children away from your home before you go to court. Learn about how you can discipline your child legally. You have choices and limits.
You cannot inflict much pain or injure your child. Examples of child abuse include:
- Hitting a child with an object like a belt or hanger
- Punching, kicking, or violently shaking a child
- Burning, choking, or restraining a child
- Bruising, cutting, or causing other internal or external injuries
- and more.
A mild spanking may technically be legal but child experts discourage it. The best approach is to avoid physical discipline.
Who has to follow these laws?
Parents and others who care for the child have a duty to protect the child from harm or excessive discipline. This includes:
- Parents
- Anyone taking care of a child when abuse happens
- People who are in the child's home a lot, like grandparents or babysitters
Do not allow someone else to discipline your child in a way that might be child abuse. You must actually stop the abuse, not just try to stop it. If you cannot stop the abuse, you may need to get help. If your child is in immediate danger, call 911 or your local police. Otherwise call the state child abuse hotline at 1-800-342-3720.
You will be legally responsible for the abuse if the authorities find that you "should have known" about it. For example, if your spouse has abused your child before and might abuse your child again.
New York law requires some people to report any suspected abuse or neglect. This includes doctors, teachers, day care providers, social services workers and police.
Using positive discipline
Child experts say it's best to discipline without hitting. You can find alternatives compatible with your values that meet legal standards.These are ways to discipline your child without causing physical or emotional harm:
- Notice and praise good behavior
- Use short ”time-outs” when needed
- Take away treats or fun activities when rules are broken
- Make clear rules and stick to them
Get help with discipline problems
Raising children is really hard. If you are struggling with discipline issues, find help. Many community organizations offer parenting classes to learn these strategies. Getting help is a sign of strength. If you think stress may be affecting the way you respond to your child, or if you just want the extra support that all parents need, try to:
- Talk to someone. Tell a friend, healthcare provider or a leader in your faith community about your concerns.
- Join a self-help group for caregivers.
- Seek counseling. Individual or family counseling can help you learn healthy ways to communicate with each other.
- Take a parenting workshop or class. These classes teach you new parenting skills. You can learn better ways to handle your kids and meet other parents facing similar challenges. Go to the New York State Parenting Education Partnership (NYSPEP) website to find a program in your area.
- Accept help. Accept offers of help from friends, family or neighbors and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Call the New York Parent Helpline at 1-800-CHILDREN.
How do I report child abuse?
If you suspect child abuse or neglect, call the NY State Child Abuse and Maltreatment Hotline 24 hours/7 days a week at (800) 342-3720. Language assistance is available, but you must ask for it in English.
The New York State Child Protective Services will document all calls to report child abuse or neglect. In some cases, they might have to report the case to the Police Department.
You can read more about the signs of child abuse and reporting on the website for the Office of Children and Family Services (OCFS).
Last Reviewed: August 8, 2024